Homecoming is almost upon us, and it’s time to scramble and find a homecoming date.

Now the first step in asking someone to homecoming is finding someone to go to homecoming with (assuming that you don’t want to go stag or don’t want to go at all).  There are many ways that you can meet a potential date.  There are mixers for freshman, mixers for all grades, and football games.  Football games are the main center for meeting people and getting to know them.  I’m in the band, though, and games aren’t available, but I’ve still managed to always find a date (although I got rejected Freshman year, but that’s beside the point).

Actually, meeting someone isn’t the only choice though.  You can already know people, obviously, but you could also have a friend “hook you up” with someone who they know wants to go and doesn’t have a date.  All of that aside, you need to come up with some way to ask her.  There are many categories of asking methods, but I’ll try to break it down simply.

First, there are the corny ways to ask.  Now, these methods are probably effective, but that doesn’t mean I need to like them.  Because I don’t. These are the guys that go out and buy a pizza and have a sign under the lid that says “I know this is cheesy, but will you go to homecoming with me?”  Sure, the first time this would be clever and witty and we would all have a nice good laugh about it (get it? It’s funny because it says cheesy and pizza has cheese on it hahahano), but this literally happens every single year, and it makes me hate it.

When I was thinking about how I was going to ask my date this year (I’m hoping this article will inspire me), I thought back to this tacky way of asking a girl, and it got me to think.  What could possibly be worse?  Then I thought, what if you get a can of creamed corn, and sharpied on the side, “I know this is corny blah blah blah.”  Then I thought to myself, no that’s just terrible, but then I realized that I would have the same amount of respect for the person who asked that way to the person who asks with a pizza, so don’t be that guy.

Next we have the straight up terrible ideas that just don’t work.  One of which, and my favorite, is the method where you fake propose.  I don’t know how the synapses fired in the brain of the people who try this, but they obviously didn’t think too hard, or they would have chosen a different method.

Although it definitely isn’t intended to be, asking a girl through getting on your knee and having a ring box with “hoco?” in it kinda makes a mockery of arguably one of the most important moments in a girl’s life.  It’s a pretty bad idea (probably worse than asking through text), and even having any relation to such a ridiculous way of asking a girl to homecoming is not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination.

Alright, next, I have to address the types of asking that a lot of people do, but they don’t want to make me not want to bang my head against a wall.  I won’t spend much time on this, but people who ask their dates with cookies cakes and posters are fine by me.  These methods of asking aren’t necessarily the most special way to ask in the world, but if you make baked goods, spend money on something (other than a pizza),  buy flowers, and/or use a homemade poster, it at least shows that you put effort into asking and are excited to go.

Finally, there are the people who get creative.  Elliot Stone (’15) says “listen to other people’s opinions, especially if those people either know more about the person than you do… [and] be at least a little bit creative.”  This is a perfect description of a quality way to ask a girl to homecoming.

Creative is a relative word, though, but luckily freshman Alistair Keggen was able to shed some light on the idea, “You need to use what the person likes to do and incorporate it into how you ask them.”  Even as a freshman, Al has the right idea.  Asking a girl by incorporating what they like and what they do in their free time is the best way to ask a girl.  It shows that you really thought about what you were going to do when asking them, but it also shows that you know them well.

Al asked his date by setting up a volleyball net in her front yard and spelled out homecoming on the net.  Guess what sport she plays? It doesn’t even need to be that extreme, and you don’t need to put too much work into it, but it needs to be enough to be considerate.

The moral of the story is that when you are asking, the girl you are asking needs to play some sort of role, don’t be too cheesy, and don’t fake propose.  If you follow that basic format, you can’t go wrong, and chances are, she will say yes.