A bead of shimmering sweat slowly creeps down his face.  The bead convenes and coalesces with another of its kind, streaks down his chin and then falls to the ground of the Senior Courtyard.

Why would a senior be sweating?

SAT? Nope.  Calc test? Nope.  College applications? Eh, maybe.  Big game tonight? Definitely not.

Inability to tie a bow tie? Yes!

The senior bow tie is a mark of prestige, wisdom, and well, seniority.  Yet many seniors are left stranded in front of a mirror, sweating, unable to properly tie a bow tie.

In this article, you, no matter how flustered, will learn how to tie a bow tie the proper way, in order to exercise your senior privileges.

Before we move on, it is vital to understand that a pre-tied bow tie does not solve the problem, but in fact makes it worse.  According to some bow tie experts, “A pre-tied bow tie reflects a weak character.”  Avoid being called out by your Jesuit brothers in class for your pre-tied buffoonery and learn how to tie a real bow tie with The Roundup.

One of the easiest ways to practice is tying a bow tie around your thigh.  Follow the 10 Step Plan and you will be able to tie a bow tie in less time than it takes to cook a waffle at breakfast.

Halm’s 10 Step Plan

*Pants and miscellaneous notebooks not included

1. Acquire a bow tie, preferably from The Roundup.
2. Make the non-logo part a tad longer and lay it over the logo part.
3. Bring the longer part under and pull to tie a knot.  Snug is good.
4. Fold the logo part over on itself to make a bow-tie-like shape.
5. Pull the other end over the bow tie shape.
6. Pinch the two ends of the bow tie shape together.
7. Holding the same pinch, fold the non-colorful end over on itself.
(Not a step) Side view of holding step 7. For step 8 you will slide the folded over non-colorful part into the hole. (This is the back of the bow tie)
8. Keep the non-colorful part folded over on itself as you push it halfway through the hole. You can see a bow-tie-ish shape forming.
9. Pull the folded-up non-colorful side through halfway to create a bow tie shape behind the main bow tie shape. #bowtieception
10. Pull on the alternate loops on the front right and back left to tightedn the knot.
Et voila! You are ready to take your senior style to a new level.
Emmet Halm '19, Editor-in-Chief
Besides being the Editor-in-Chief of The Roundup, Emmet is a water polo player and competitive power-lifter. In his free time you might find Emmet practicing Spanish, French, and Russian or tending to his four beloved chickens. Emmet is also an avid follower of international affairs and an amateur chef. If you see him in the hallway, make sure to ask him for a motivational quote. Feel free to slide Emmet a Moodle message or email with any questions or comments.
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