Friday, March 29, 2024

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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live the mainstream life. Two years ago, I made the dramatic leap from the iPhone 5C to the Android S7. As I was incompetent when it came to my new phone, there was definitely a little trauma the...
Thursday marked the opening of the first-ever Bountiful Scholars Tournament, sponsored by The Roundup. According to the advertisement that was sent out for the tournament earlier this semester, "the tournament seeks to showcase the wit and literary interpretative powers of the contestants." For this first round, scholars must analyze Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" and debate its meaning in...
After several failures of literary and journalistic merit arising from associate editors and freshmen staff writers, his most holy, exultant, blessed, and glorious Dr. Degen has instituted a new system of punishment for disobedient reporters. With the ascent of Logan Thompson, Editor in Chief, Kevin Babu, Managing Editor, Griffin Taber, Chief Associate Editor, as well as all senior editors present,...
Nervous, sun-streaked crowds of incoming Jesuit students marked the hallways this week as the new year kicked off. The usually exciting first day took a turn for the worse, however, as things got hectic. The servers at Jesuit were used to hosting roughly 700 iPads/devices at one time, but when more than 1300 students and faculty members tried to...
Over time, Jesuit students have had incredible academic success. This success arrived when students learned to prioritize scholastic worth over literally anything else. It has taught students a fundamental principle: school is the only thing that matters; if you are successful at school, you are successful at life. This enlightenment has enabled students to make sacrifices for the greater good...
While 2020 hasn't been a great year for humanity, it has been great for meme-makers. The memes and group chats have become top-tier distractions from the crippling loneliness of quarantine. Scrolling through my favorite sites for online content got me thinking: Why don't I help pass some time by talking about some of the people you'll most likely see...
The indomitable human spirit is the enduring, unyielding, and resolute aspect of humanity that allows us to persevere through adversity. It is the unbreakable force that lives within every human being, the unwavering spirit that propels us forward in the face of hardship, tragedy, and adversity. It is this inner strength that allows us to continue pushing forward when...
Well, it’s that time of year, and if you have a girlfriend and for some reason have decided to look to me for advice on what to get her, I can do you one better.  Through years of experience and extensive scientific research, I've made a list of things not to get your girlfriend for Christmas.  Impressive right? For...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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