The Cowboys suffered a brutal loss to the Washington Commanders on Sunday, losing an embarrassing 26-6. After this game, I do not see how anyone thinks they are Super Bowl contenders. This is hands down the worst loss this year and it is not even close. In his first game, Dak Prescott, the same QB on a record 160...
As the war between Russia and Ukraine grows more violent every day, both Putin and Zelenskyy fear for their lives. And according to recent evidence, the Russians plan to neutralize possibilities of American interference.
While we don't know much about the tech, the CIA has deciphered that the S.T.A.I.R.S. (systematic tripping and intentional retribution structure) functions by deactivating Biden's calves...
As a precursor to Nicholas Christon '24 and I's all-encompassing Fast Food Tier List (work in progress) I sought the origin of easily the best fast food restaurant we have eaten at so far. Taco Bell. Its constant, brilliant taste presented an origin that must lie somewhere beyond human existence, and I would stop at nothing to uncover its...
Ted Cruz: Your Senator, A Murderer!?
It’s an early morning, snow blanketing the ground outside of the Calgary hospital. A seemingly innocent child is brought into this world, but could this child be the infamous murderer who terrorized Northern California in the late 60s and early 70s? Let’s decide.
The Facts
Ted Cruz, born Rafael Edward Cruz, is an American-Canadian politician representing...
One dark and stormy night, Mr. Goll noticed a leak in the roof, damaging a painting. In an act of bravery and honor, he saved the painting, cementing himself not as the hero Jesuit deserved but as the one they needed. He brought the salvaged painting to his office, but after realizing it wasn't worth much on eBay, he...
Well, it’s that time of year, and if you have a girlfriend and for some reason have decided to look to me for advice on what to get her, I can do you one better. Through years of experience and extensive scientific research, I've made a list of things not to get your girlfriend for Christmas. Impressive right? For...
After several failures of literary and journalistic merit arising from associate editors and freshmen staff writers, his most holy, exultant, blessed, and glorious Dr. Degen has instituted a new system of punishment for disobedient reporters.
With the ascent of Logan Thompson, Editor in Chief, Kevin Babu, Managing Editor, Griffin Taber, Chief Associate Editor, as well as all senior editors present,...
While 2020 hasn't been a great year for humanity, it has been great for meme-makers. The memes and group chats have become top-tier distractions from the crippling loneliness of quarantine. Scrolling through my favorite sites for online content got me thinking: Why don't I help pass some time by talking about some of the people you'll most likely see...
