Celebrating 10 Years Online

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

THE JESUIT DALLAS STUDENT VOICE AND NEWSPAPER SINCE 1942 - DIGITAL SINCE 2010

THE JESUIT DALLAS STUDENT VOICE AND STUDENT NEWSPAPER SINCE 1942

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Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Dear Dee, So many choices at the Jesuit cafe?  What's a hungry boy to choose? Hungry Hugo Dear Hungry Hugo, Lunch? You wish to know my thoughts on lunch, to advise on you on the “perfect lunch”? Hmmmm… Interesting. All things making up this perfect lunch must be items that can be purchased from the Jesuit cafeteria? Ok, well, even though I don’t...
Thursday marked the opening of the first-ever Bountiful Scholars Tournament, sponsored by The Roundup. According to the advertisement that was sent out for the tournament earlier this semester, "the tournament seeks to showcase the wit and literary interpretative powers of the contestants." For this first round, scholars must analyze Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" and debate its meaning in...
Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live the mainstream life. Two years ago, I made the dramatic leap from the iPhone 5C to the Android S7. As I was incompetent when it came to my new phone, there was definitely a little trauma the...
Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational Agency, SAT scores that significantly exceed the national average, and much more, there is no doubt in Jesuit's distinction and quality. However, Jesuit still faces a problem that it has probably been facing since its foundation...
Mr. Garrison, incredulous, shakes his head and mumbles incoherently to himself as he takes out a sharpie to make amends to the 28 Acre t-shirts he recently commissioned as a surprise for Mr. Knize. Last Friday, March 27th, Jesuit discreetly settled a court case with the homeowners of the neighborhood to the rear of the school, conceding around an...
Dear Donica, What should I do on Friday nights? --a President Nonplused   Dear "President Nonplused," I was planning to begin by saying that Friday night is arguably the best night of the week because it kicks off the weekend, doesn’t require the doing of homework, and when it ends, you wake up (or fall asleep depending on the length of your festivities) on...
Dear Dee, How do I know if I’m in love? - Lost Louie Dear Lost Louie, Love. Just think about that word for a minute. Ignore what you are reading and just let your mind flow. What does love mean to you? Do you even know? (I know you’re unsure “Louie,” but this is meant for reflection for the other readers.) Can you...
Ah, pizza. Multiple mounds of melted, magnificently manufactured mozzarella shelter a circular, sweeping, savory sauce covering a curved, copious, crunchy-chewy crust. The delight of many people all around (though it originated in Naples, Italy) is so popular that many languages still call it pizza. Even the Arabic word for pizza, "بيتزا," sounds like "pizza!" In fact, what is better than...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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