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Viewpoint Humor/Satire

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational Agency, SAT scores that significantly exceed the national average, and much more, there is no doubt in Jesuit's distinction and quality. However, Jesuit still faces a problem that it has probably been facing since its foundation...
Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live the mainstream life. Two years ago, I made the dramatic leap from the iPhone 5C to the Android S7. As I was incompetent when it came to my new phone, there was definitely a little trauma the...
For years, Jesuit students who fail to get a junior lot parking pass have been pushed to the outskirts of the school and forced to make the perilous walks from Willow to school, regardless of weather. These students struggle through the rain and cold to make a slightly longer walk than the rest of the students who purchased parking passes...
On Friday, February 17th, at 7 p.m. ET, ESPN will broadcast the 2017 NBA All-Star Celebrity Game live from Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, LA. This event is usually met with extremely average attention, but I think the NBA can change that with a few wise selections in this year's game. The newly-available and potential players for this year's...
Ah, pizza. Multiple mounds of melted, magnificently manufactured mozzarella shelter a circular, sweeping, savory sauce covering a curved, copious, crunchy-chewy crust. The delight of many people all around (though it originated in Naples, Italy) is so popular that many languages still call it pizza. Even the Arabic word for pizza, "بيتزا," sounds like "pizza!" In fact, what is better than...
Mr. Garrison, incredulous, shakes his head and mumbles incoherently to himself as he takes out a sharpie to make amends to the 28 Acre t-shirts he recently commissioned as a surprise for Mr. Knize. Last Friday, March 27th, Jesuit discreetly settled a court case with the homeowners of the neighborhood to the rear of the school, conceding around an...
Are you looking for the perfect gift for a family member or friend this Christmas? Do you have a secret Santa for whom you need the perfect present? Do you want to knock the socks off of the recipient of your wrapped surprise? Then you need to read this guide for the 15 hottest gifts of the Christmas season! 15....
"Grant Uy's reign of terror has finally come to an end," commented senior counselor Mr. Oglesby, referencing the shocking scandal that has begun to unfold following Uy's withdrawal from Jesuit yesterday. Uy, who had the highest GPA among the senior class, was asked to leave the Jesuit community after repeated instances of cheating, a development that has come as...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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