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Viewpoint Humor/Satire

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

Are you looking for the perfect gift for a family member or friend this Christmas? Do you have a secret Santa for whom you need the perfect present? Do you want to knock the socks off of the recipient of your wrapped surprise? Then you need to read this guide for the 15 hottest gifts of the Christmas season! 15....
"Grant Uy's reign of terror has finally come to an end," commented senior counselor Mr. Oglesby, referencing the shocking scandal that has begun to unfold following Uy's withdrawal from Jesuit yesterday. Uy, who had the highest GPA among the senior class, was asked to leave the Jesuit community after repeated instances of cheating, a development that has come as...
Well, it’s that time of year, and if you have a girlfriend and for some reason have decided to look to me for advice on what to get her, I can do you one better.  Through years of experience and extensive scientific research, I've made a list of things not to get your girlfriend for Christmas.  Impressive right? For...
Homecoming is almost upon us, and it’s time to scramble and find a homecoming date. Now the first step in asking someone to homecoming is finding someone to go to homecoming with (assuming that you don’t want to go stag or don’t want to go at all).  There are many ways that you can meet a potential date.  There are...
Onsie upon a time…   I guess the first thing I should do is introduce myself.  I’m Drew, I’m a sophomore, I’m in band and robotics, and I make a killer PB and J. Alright, I’ve had enough of that.  I’m going to talk about clothes.  Specifically, a world of one cloth.   Imagine for a second a world where everyone has to...
Dear Everyone, Dee here with one last advice column. There is no specific question or topic I will be covering with this one, and if you’ve read all my other columns, you know I’m keen to go on rants, so, with no topic at hand, this one could get a little crazy. AWWWW YEEEAAAAAHHHH. Ahem, pardon me. I do in fact...
“Dear Dee, I have been accepted to five colleges. How do I now choose which one? - Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided”   Dear Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided, I decided to name you “Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided” as a shout out to Jesuit Theater’s recent production of “Rumors”, and furthermore, because naming you multiple names plays on the idea...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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