Hell has happily tortured damned souls for the last several thousand years below the Earth's surface. But Director of Operations, Satan, has found a new campus that increases misery in ways the demons had never dreamed of.
"As excited as I am to move to California, I have mixed emotions," Satan said in a recent interview, "I'm afraid because Gavin...
While 2020 hasn't been a great year for humanity, it has been great for meme-makers. The memes and group chats have become top-tier distractions from the crippling loneliness of quarantine. Scrolling through my favorite sites for online content got me thinking: Why don't I help pass some time by talking about some of the people you'll most likely see...
Homecoming is almost upon us, and it’s time to scramble and find a homecoming date.
Now the first step in asking someone to homecoming is finding someone to go to homecoming with (assuming that you don’t want to go stag or don’t want to go at all). There are many ways that you can meet a potential date. There are...
To say band is “just kids playing instruments” is to say that football is merely a pastime involving leather balls, or that hockey is simply glorified figure skating with sticks.
Jesuit Administration's Confession
First and foremost, Jesuit classifies band, alongside football and hockey, as an athletics credit. According to the Jesuit website, the band receives not only Fine Arts credit but...
Harvest Hill Traffic Light Harvests Hell on Earth
Abstract
It’s three minutes before the 8:50 a.m. bell rings for the first class – or just three minutes away from when your extra-curricular instructor kindly requested you show up. Maybe you’re a senior and you had a long lunch after service and are racing back to make that mandatory(?) class meeting at...
Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational Agency, SAT scores that significantly exceed the national average, and much more, there is no doubt in Jesuit's distinction and quality.
However, Jesuit still faces a problem that it has probably been facing since its foundation...
“Dear Dee,
I have been accepted to five colleges. How do I now choose which one?
- Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided”
Dear Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided,
I decided to name you “Ken, Len, or Glenn, the Undecided” as a shout out to Jesuit Theater’s recent production of “Rumors”, and furthermore, because naming you multiple names plays on the idea...
In spite of Ronaldo's recent achievements in Saudi Arabia, many, many soccer fans across the globe have concluded that Ronaldo is worse than Messi. They think that Messi's astonishing army of trophies, awards, accolades, goals, assists, and highlights qualify him to be the greatest of all time. In this article, I will silence the Ronaldo haters by laying out...
