Thursday, March 28, 2024

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Viewpoint Humor/Satire

Humor/Satire

Humorous or Satirical Student Views, Opinions, and Commentary

In all of my realizations, none have been so profound as this. Some might even call it the most groundbreaking assertion ever. This revolutionary truth possesses so much power and gravity, that it could uproot society as we know it. So it is with great care and apprehension that I share my finding with you. Over the course of...
If you went to the football game last Friday, you might have noticed an interesting face in the student section. What was peculiar was that it was a face without a body, nicknamed the Dion Scion (Dye-on Sigh-on). Created by Senior Rudder Allison, the Dion Sign was a popular addition to the student section, bringing good fun and laughter to...
For years, Jesuit students who fail to get a junior lot parking pass have been pushed to the outskirts of the school and forced to make the perilous walks from Willow to school, regardless of weather. These students struggle through the rain and cold to make a slightly longer walk than the rest of the students who purchased parking passes...
"Grant Uy's reign of terror has finally come to an end," commented senior counselor Mr. Oglesby, referencing the shocking scandal that has begun to unfold following Uy's withdrawal from Jesuit yesterday. Uy, who had the highest GPA among the senior class, was asked to leave the Jesuit community after repeated instances of cheating, a development that has come as...
Jesuit College Preparatory is definitely a great school. With almost 20 sports, over 100,000 community service hours recorded each year, recognition by the Texas Educational Agency, SAT scores that significantly exceed the national average, and much more, there is no doubt in Jesuit's distinction and quality. However, Jesuit still faces a problem that it has probably been facing since its foundation...
Apple's reign as America's most popular cell phone manufacturer has gone unchallenged for too long! Two years ago, I decided I could no longer live the mainstream life. Two years ago, I made the dramatic leap from the iPhone 5C to the Android S7. As I was incompetent when it came to my new phone, there was definitely a little trauma the...
Class tensions have always been at the forefront of controversy in American politics throughout American history. It has been a centuries-long battle between rich and poor. Yet, people always forget how hard the rich have it. It's time to change that by forgiving student loan debt! Medical School and Law School are expensive! Those student debts are the only things...
To say band is “just kids playing instruments” is to say that football is merely a pastime involving leather balls, or that hockey is simply glorified figure skating with sticks. Jesuit Administration's Confession First and foremost, Jesuit classifies band, alongside football and hockey, as an athletics credit. According to the Jesuit website, the band receives not only Fine Arts credit but...

About Viewpoints

The Roundup invites all students to submit articles that reflect their personal perspectives regarding politics, culture, student life, sports, art, music, or hobbies.

Articles should be written in a respectful tone, with language reflecting thoughtful and accurately researched discourse and, at all times, supporting the mission of the newspaper and the Jesuit Dallas community.

The Roundup will publish all articles that meet these guidelines without regard to endorsing any particular point of view.

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About Jesuit Dallas

Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas offers young men an excellent, Catholic education in the classical Jesuit tradition with the purpose of forming a community of men with high moral principles and service to others.

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